Road to nowhere...!

For a moment I am in the midst of unmanageable chaos and very next I am traveling back in uncertain time frame, the phase of my life when I was left alone by someone/anyone perhaps everyone. I know firsthand that I too must have had good times, but why is that I cling on ONLY to gloomy ones, is that a human tendency - will brain cells be more responsive to tragedies? I fail every now and then, when I try to give a new dimension to my life, I end up finding myself amidst of "Nowhere, to be more precise - an undefinable state of mind" and the craziest of all is I pledge to myself to be the best, best in everything & anything I do & outshine the rest, however I only can see myself at the crossroad, politically right word would be "Nowhere junction", "Back to square one" otherwise :)