Me, my space, my musings, my weird dreams @ Ghati…

Subramanya temple @ Ghati

Lifez turning to be pretty much boring as no thrills, nil adventures or at-least eerie things which used to happen with me every now and then!!! Even it’s so long that I have spent sometime alone, time for myself & space for my musings. I certainly have spent a lot of time in my own head (and I still do!) and had a very overactive imagination (and I used to do!)…

I was on my way to offer space for myself with Subbu (I need to have a destination right!!!), Subbu-Gani’s elder brother i.e., Ghati Subramanya is one of the popular pilgrim centers located near Doddaballapur of Bangalore Rural district @ around 60 to 65 kms from Bangalore, pretty much crowded place and there are KSRTC bus trips to this place as well from Majestic.

After series of enquires @ KGBS I got to know the availability of public transport for next trip. I was the first one to get inside the bus and I see none who were making their trip to Ghati, thought is Subbu working on Sunday’s or is it a weekly off for him…? There is a possibility coz Bangalore u see ;) when we have temple complexes here, Temple complex !! even I was amazed for the first time when I read it on poster, Ganesh temple, 5th block, Koramangala coz u can find Gani’s entire family here!!! however bus was jam-packed in ten mins time ;)

I occupied myself to the window seat, watching bright side of the day, greenery, hills, listening music, wow…My mind so free, so thoughtless, so fearless & I see no straws in the wind which would suggest me that the things gonna/might happen in near future…An elderly aunt was seated next to me, I didn’t talk to her much at all, as she seemed to be pretty much worried… once we reached Ghati @ 1240 hrs I was getting ready to get out of the bus that was the time I put off Ipod!

Aunt: Is it Icon?
Me: Nope, it’s called as Ipod. Even untutored aunts are pretty much aware of electronic gadgets now-a-days.
Aunt: U only can listen to songs right? U can’t record anything!
Me: Yes, audio recording can be but not video recording…
Aunt: U came all alone...!!! I came with my hubby and son.
Me: Yeah. My parents stay in a far away place and I stay here in PG and friends are quite busy. I sensed she belongs to an orthodox family & didn’t tell her that it was my individual decision to spend time alone as there were quite a lot chances of taking me wrong. And I might need to give a lot explanation to her. Not a surprise really, even few of my friends (male & female) were concerned / surprised that I went alone.

I brought myself to a halt @ nearby shop to buy coconuts, flowers, banana and agarbatthi so & so to please Subbu. Shop keeper guided me the way to entrance door of temple. As I got into the temple there was a quite long queue and there I found one more, as in bribed one. Not many temples remain without being commercialized now-a-days. If I pay Rs.10/- they would let me in directly, that was my assumption & a board on entrance door read as “ಪುಷ್ಯ ಶುದ್ಧ ಷಷ್ಠಿ ರಥ ಮಹೋಸ್ತವ ವಿಶೇಷ ದರ್ಶನ…” anyways left with no other choice, I got into beeline with queue of 200 ahead of me and another 100 following me unlike to ant’s line of 0.7 to 0.9k.

Later when I met Subbu, all the difference I learnt between ordinary line and bribed one was, you are allowed to see Subbu @ 30 foot distance and 10 foot distance respectively।

I almost forgot (How bad of me) I met Rohit while slogging in the queue. Rohit: so cute, so single and ready to mingle and was flirting with so many gals of-course my new boy friend ;) with whom I have spent rest of my journey.

I met two more souls who were so concerned about me (as a lonely gal), Mr. & Mrs. Gouda on queue (Rohit’s parents). She was explaining me about traditions and different kind of puja’s, Subramanya temple known for Nagaradhane (snake worship) & also under the peepal tree (Aswatha vriksha)- a cluster of Naga idols are installed on platforms and about wish-tree (I am quite aware of it) which fulfills a long pending wish @ Ghati।

Once we were done with Darshanam, I was supposed to meet wish-tree to discuss my long pending wish(s).As there is a huge Ram-sainya (Monkeys), Mr. and Mrs. Gouda were bothered they would cause any harm to me. I really so appreciate them, for accompanying me till I was done with all my rituals. It’s pretty difficult to find people so down to earth now-a-days. Mr. Gouda a lecturer by profession and Mrs. Gouda a home maker.

Mrs. Gouda was not letting me to travel alone and they insisted me to join them so finally I made mind to travel with them. Even I and Rohit were getting along so well ;)

While we were on our way to Bangalore, some Mr. Xyz! relative of Mr. Gouda called him on his mobile and invited him (us) for his home @ Doddaballapur. So I was left with no other option than joining them, of-course I was an uninvited guest. I told Mrs. Gouda, that I will stay back in car, but she didn’t let me to do so. Funny thing was even she was meeting them all for the first time.

Mrs. Gouda introduced me as her close friend and Mr. Gouda was letting them know that I am an Engineer. He reminded me of my grand-pa (Mom’s dad) who proudly used to introduce me to his friends @ village saying my grand-daughter is an Engineer. Grand-pa: first person in my life who said “If you ever wanna achieve something in your life, don’t setback yourself when you find obstacles…” I was told this, when I found myself very difficult to cope-up in English medium in my 8th standard and I had made mind to get back to kannada medium that is when he took all the pain to come down to Bellary. I stood 1st and 2nd in school till my 7th and I got flunked in my first monthly test in 8th std. To my deep shame, I got 2/25 in mathematics and 8/25 in social science (and if I am not bragging, I used to score out of out in Kannada medium). Not coz I didn’t know the logic/answers I could not understand the questions & I had none to help me @ home. In Kannada medium, we learn “A as in..., B as in...” in English and “अ का... , आ का...” in Hindi in 5th std. I joined special tuition classes, with the help of Mr. Thippa Reddy, my tutor for Science and Mathematics I was able to cope-up and I have secured 8th rank in second monthly test. I am quite happy about it & to be honest nothing has made me so happy till date…i.e., how I have evolved. Each stressful event that you encounter will provide you with a different type of challenge, but if you can anticipate what your reaction will be, there are several techniques to help you to cope.

Get back to the point Vidya! Since long I wanted to be a “gatecrasher”, one of my weirdest dreams. Despite the fact that I won’t drop-in to any of my cousins or friends place until unless I am invited to. I was planning on doing this for quite a long time now. When you walk into someone’s party or any event or some stranger’s house without being invited, it will be so thrilled! What an experience it could be huh..?

Our lovely hosts prepared chicken biriyani, Mutton curry and Raagi balls and I am a pure veggie freak. I again put Mr. and Mrs. Gouda in to trouble & they were feeling pretty bad but luckily they had prepared Rice, Rasam and some Raitha… Actually Mr. and Mrs. Gouda were quite uncomfortable having non-veg coz I am a veggie, I earlier too experienced the same. …c’mon veggie freaks plz offer them comfort as they are not committing any sin by eating non-veg, in fact they are not competing with us for veg-food & also prices of vegetables are hitting the sky ;) .Honestly speaking I really enjoyed and ate nicely without any hesitation coz I was damn hungry all I had in the morning was 2 slices of bread :(

But all I sensed was absolute embarrassment…however dreams do come true…so don’t ever dare to dream weirdly…. ;)

Finally got back into the car, returning to our seats Mr. and Mrs. Gouda into front seats, I and Rohit occupied back seats kinda some junks. I felt something like “सालो बाद ख़ुद को आईने में देखा...!” when I saw Rohit putting his fingers in his mouth, reminded of me when I was too young. My Mom really struggled like nothing to get rid of the habit; memories are still too fresh u see ;) all this and infinitely more in the space of sixty secs. Mr. and Mrs. Gouda were so happy to see Rohit being so happy with me, playing so cheerfully and slept in my arms. By the way Rohit is 10 months old little one … ;)

They were so generous and invited me to their home as well; I said certainly I would drop-in some other time. We departed @ Yelhanka, and I was on my way to PG….

It’s been my first travelogue and it has been both a trip & a religious visit for me.

Until next blog…! Catch you ;)

4th anniversary in silicon city

Warning: sentimentality ;)

For today! I have completed my 4 years of stay in Bangalore. I checked-out from Bellary the very next day I got my final year results of B.E. I could have spent good amount of time @ home most probably I might not get the chance to stay with family @ home again. However I chose to leave, the only reason being to run off from marriage… As Siri got married @ 19, my parents wanted even me to get married @ 20. Dad’s friend brought a proposal for me when I was giving my 7th sem exams that was the time I promised Dad (false one) that let me finish off my education and I need 6 months time to mentally prepare & learn cooking and other household stuffs coz Siri had tough time in the initial days of her married life- roughly reasonable :) am I not??? Alas till date I say! I’m neither mentally prepared nor at-least I am a half-way decent cook ;)

4 years of my engineering life just ran like 4 seasons in a year. But past 4 years…..I have seen greatest depression in my life, hope so ;) even god can’t steal it from my reminiscence…

I was not quite sure that Dad will encourage me to do my higher studies, coz initially girls were looked down @ home. There was quite a lot of discrimination when I was too young (I really took it up with real sprit and challenge) however I don’t have any complaints against the same coz they had their own constraints of being in a joint family. Every single decision will be executed with everyone’s consent. But my parents really loved me a lot, who always admired my decisions and its coz of their encouragement & immense support I am able to best bounce back from dark corner. I am from such an orthodox family & I have no clue why they are so liberal in my case??? I have learnt what exactly boundless freedom, unconditional-eternal love means… ;) I wish it should last till my last breath…

I landed in Bangalore with many aspirations, set of goals and responsibilities on 2nd July 2005. However you will realize real life situations are quite unpredictable & rapidly keep changing until years of your life pass you by. The other three kirik damsels who ran from home along with me were Poori, Prathima and Shaila. Each of us had enough luggages, 3 to 4 air bags/suitcases each! As though we have left home forever…. The moment we stepped out of bus @ around 0600 hrs, we were circled by 10 to 12 autowala’s fighting among themselves for their early morning very first customers (Bakra’s – I think its pretty easy to figure out anyone who are new to the place). In the middle of this shock, one auto guy took suitcase and was heading towards his auto without our consent. Shaila literally started running behind him with two heavy bags in her hands when other drivers commented he is a thief. Oh my god!! How sick??? We got into two autos’ & heading towards our new PG which was located in KHB colony, Basaveshwar nagar. It hardly takes 35 to 40 bucks from majestic and we were looted pretty badly very first day…and he charged 200+ bucks. As autowala was taking early morning trip aramse round the city, we messed up with the address and my friend Kurshid was busy sleeping - loafer I must say. She was the one who was supposed to come and pick me up. Kurshid one of Muslim friend’s I have/had, we shared Veg & Non-veg food in a common plate, alas today we are not in touch with each other.

It’s not one or two! so many, I have lost contact with….In spite of my honest attempts things didn’t happen so I have let it go long back coz even its hard for me to compromise every time…There are many a times when I felt am I invariably utilized by everyone???, @ the same time I feel happy coz that is the level of comfortability I have given, that they always can count on me. However I always cherish those memories all my life and thanks to one and all for whomever I met on my journey….

But all I have learnt is “There is always an unfamiliar person in very much familiar person you know for years….”

I was in total mess to make a decision about my career. How I wish if we had campus placements in our college, coz employers will take up the responsibility to decide our career and lessen our burden. Few advised me to pursue course in embedded systems, very few to pursue training in VLSI that’s my passion too & so many to pursue MBA, by then it was too late for full fledged preparation. I had less than a week time to prepare after my final sem exams. Though I got decent score in PGCET-MBA, I could not get into “A” grade colleges and I was not willing to get into “B”/third grade colleges.

So MBA was ruled out from my catalog & embedded systems for no reason. May be coz I was crazy/determined/was in love with VLSI.

There are times we personally visited companies to drop our resumes, one day we covered Electronic city, complete 2nd phase & I was bed ridden for 3 days then on….
The other day white field, result bed rest for day or two…. Sad part was they just threw our resumes into dustbin before we left the place…

I got to know the “pain of rejection” for the very first time in my life when I was rejected to get admission into Sandeepani School of VLSI Design, Bangalore.

When I glance @ my past, especially past 4 years of my life is wholly occupied with one word i.e., VLSI. What not I have done to get u? What not I have tolerated coz of u? I wandered so desperately every single remote corner of Bangalore even when I was terribly sick. This was certainly out of my comfort zone…. I believe loosing battles to win the war will definitely make sense one fine day. Ultimately u made me someone; today I am quite happy to be :) I have grown mature enough to see troubles as blessings which taught me valuable lessons in life. I have accepted it only when life took its toll on me, mercilessly, sometimes.

I always find it necessary to have a discussion with Education Minister of Karnataka for three reasons, here I go….

• Do we really create/decide the number of engineering seats as per jobs available in the market..?
• As we hardly have any openings/nil openings in Electronics /Semiconductors/ Embedded systems/Design, why are we allotting max number seats in colleges for related fields…?
• If Indian semiconductor industry needs candidates only from premier institutions, why can’t we rule-out these domains from state universities? When there is no scope at all…!

Whatever! No regrets, decided not to look @ lost things…

I don’t have any regrets for whatever happened so far, coz I have met amazing people on my way, crucial lessons in life which can be learnt only from unavoidable sore circumstances... I really mean it! Coz it was really worth travelling on an endless road of pain…

I really hate to get into particular event & consequences, coz my friends (Blogger friends who are so concerned about me-I am always blessed to have “A circle of love and care” around me) are getting disappointed that I am pessimist and all time cry baby so & so…. I am helpless guy’s coz my past is crammed with grief…May be in a way I was not prepared for life.

I still believe new possibilities will appear and obstacles will certainly dissolve. If it means chopping me into zillion pieces in order to mold me into a better person, it doesn’t matter. In my opinion, the end justifies the means.

Looking forward for “Bright spots…”