Struggle for survival….A lazy dog

Sunday! Pretty much boring Sunday ever in my life :(

From last one week coz of the grace or mercy of Sukanya (scared to comment); grace coz we keep watching good old movies and mercy coz she is letting me to sleep at-least for few hours. I have given new name to my comp that’s “TV” now-a-days we only use it to watch movies, not really… ;) it’s my best companion.

Saturday night she made me to watch “Balondu Bhava geethe” good old Kannada movie. It’s actually a pretty much tragic story but we felt/made quite a lot fun out of it and truly enjoyed. By the time I crashed on my bed it was 0100 hrs, early morning guess so.

No power for whole day, and I was given with the contract of applying mehandi to Sukanya and even myself only day we pamper ourselves. End result my head started hurting pretty badly coz of lack of power, water I could not wash my head till late evening. Even I could not loaf around as well. What a sick day…!!!

A puppy! not really it was grown big enough, got stuck in our chajja in first floor. So many of us tried to help him to get-out of it, but it was so lazy to put even nil efforts.With mercy of few gals it got food all day. Finally everyone got bugged up and cursed it for not willing to give an attempt and got into their regular Sunday job. PG will be a more or less a beauty clinic on Sunday’s.

I got frustrated by evening and thought let me deal with dog, to know what exactly its probs…is? I took all the pain to get inside the garage to find wooden planks, so that it may help dog to come out. But when I placed wooden planks in chajja in a way to connect a bridge to balcony, our duffer went to the other corner to hide as though I am gonna torture him… Idiot or may be was challenging me! Catch me if you can…?

But @ around 2110 hrs it tried by its own and ultimately came out with the help of wooden planks. I was quite happy to know that my efforts didn’t go in vain. It only came out when it started drizzling; all I have learnt even from lazy dog is “struggle for survival…”

U only can survive, if you can help yourself…

Stepped into another phase of life....

Circumstances keep changing….,

Decisions keep you regretting….,

Past keeps you hurting….,

Future keeps you scaring…, but Life keeps moving…

Yes I stepped into another phase of my life i.e, Insecurity…

I started feeling very much insecure now-a-days…

Insecure about myself, insecure about life, I Think/Rethink, has I given too much of thought for life or have I expected too much out of Life….which is creating emotions of insecurity. Insecurity is turning me into someone, I am really not.

I know of the "presenting problem" on the surface; but what is the root problem, what's at the bottom of it all? Maybe I don't know; maybe I do, but it's too frightening to look at it, or to talk about it with someone else. Discussed with Siri, she said don’t give too much of thought, alas thoughts are not under my control. Tried reaching couple of friends of same age band to know have they anytime/all-time come across such questions within themselves..? As usual I couldn’t reach any of them when I will be in need, which in turn created insecurity about friends. However Insecurity is not an objective evaluation of one's ability but an emotional justification. After all, as usual I wouldn't want anyone else to know about where I hurt..?

I presume that I am not the only one who is going thro’ a phase of feeling…..Insecurity

Thursday night...

We’ve had heard people celebrating Friday night’s, but Thursday night!!!

11th June, quite ordinary day with very much boring routine life. Get-up early in the morning @ 0008 hrs, fresh-up, dress-up & rush to office. No!!! Again in office look @ the very same boring faces :( Gani plz add some color to my life with some interesting faces around me ;) u listening???

It was somewhat special day for Gani coz it was “Sankashti”. Sankashti-Chaturthi as in “Kashtagalannella parihara maado Gani – English version Gani plz liberate me from all turmoil’s” as per my understandings. As per Google “The person who does Sankashti-Chaturthi (do fasting till the moon-rise and then eat the food, however all day I eat fruits, some times chocolates,Chikki's,Ice-creams, drink Juice/Coffee/Chai it depends on individual capacity u see ;) & even I don’t see any set of laws ) will collect lot of virtues. After the death that person goes to Swanand-loka and the rebirth of that person stops. There is a belief in Hinduism that a person takes seven births before gets 'Moksha' (becomes free, there is no rebirth afterwards)” whatever even I don’t wish to be reborn in this world again. One life very much loyal to it! In other words, emotionally and intellectually honest...

Unfortunately this time I broke the fast in the morning itself coz I wasn’t aware of it :( though Mom has sent Calendar, as we don’t have any wall nails in the room to hang it on, and even we failed to hammer iron nails into the wall, so it will be lying @ some corner in the rack. The actual reason is the other day coz of my tantrums I got one or two warnings from Poori and I was trying to blackmail her emotionally, occupying myself to some corner of bed not talking to her, hugging my spare pillow as we don’t have individual rooms in PG :( which I am well known to do @ home when I was very little not exactly even today I do.

A little Lizard was resting in that pillow I believe, when I was crushing and rolling over the pillow, it got hurt and jumped out to rescue its life. Sad part is it jumped on my right hand. Many of us believe that its sign of bad luck/good luck and especially people like me! so biased by life’s curve balls. That was the time we were looking for our calendar coz on the backside of most calendar’s they give sufficient info about such crap.Unfortunately it said when Lizard falls on female’s right hand - bad luck for 1 year. I really don’t know why I became so emotional and without my knowledge tears started rolling down my cheeks may be thinking I still have to struggle for one more year something like pain forever. However I believe no point in burdening your memory with non-essentials. Poori made her honest attempts to wipe away those tears. Soon we got into debate against Hindu superstitions stating its all bullshit. After a while Poori jumped towards me and said holding my hand “I have touched golden lizard in kanchi kamakshi temple @ Kanchipuram (city of temples), Tamil nadu”, so if you touch me the evil effects will get vanished. I was laughing @ her, how hard we try to convince our heart against reality…Isn’t it..?

Outcome of this Lizard story is that I missed Sankashti-Chaturthi coz Calendar was mislaid. Now Gani must be furious about me and will show all his talents on me, soon you guys will get to know the consequences :( something like

“The person whom you trust the most is the one who is gonna hurt you the most...”
whatever! Every thing is pre-written nothing can be re-written…

Poori tried reaching me to convey the message about Sankashti by then I already had my first bite of breakfast. So Poori doesn’t have any opponent to impress Gani...

Normally people break fast with Milk, Fruits or Prasadam. However Poori does with Samosa, Jalebi, Kachori! Of course Jalebi was my quaish… Though we have so many temples nearby, she prefers to go to 1st block, Koramangala the only reason being “Saraswathi Bakery”. But chats are really awesome... ;)

At around @ 2130 hrs we three having Samosa with Pudina/Tamarind chatni… Jalebi… Funny thing is we tried Mango with Pudina/Tamarind chatni…sounds yuck but tastes yummy… all the three of us were feeling very much tired and a thought waved in our brain was Head massage! I did for Poori & Sukanya and Sukanya to me….

Later we thought to do something to our faces as well coz someone had passed comments that we look ABC as in Age Bar Candidate… being in mid-twenties. (Now-a-days almost everyone comments only intention is to convey the direct message indirectly i.e., to get married) We applied Dhathri fairness face pack here is how we look, so gorgeous… are we not…?

Me, Poori & Sukanya

In recent times Lizard flew on Poori’s left foot & as per our calendar seer, she will gain some money, unfortunately she lost Rs.1000/- Dunno what to say now…? However Lizard is quite innocent in this case she was careless and without inspecting, she threw envelop into dustbin in which she had kept money…

One more fable, Don’t make an assumption that this is an ordinary sweet…The other day Poori was attending reception of her colleague and I demanded sweet provided it must be from the wedding hall ;) ….You believe it or not she is such a sweetheart, she flicked it for me…Sorry dear I just was kidding never thought you mind it so seriously… Though she commented I have gone nuts or whatever! Phir bhi Mein ne tumhe maaf kar diya hain beta ;) Bade Dilwale…

Love....

Comes what May!
Keep your capacity to love alive!
Coz love is living!
Love is a river!
Do not close its embankments!
It will flood!
Let the river of love flow!
Forever and ever from your heart!
Or else it will flood through your eyes!