May you live all the days of your life…

At times I feel so disturbed, just can’t control my emotions and wanna run somewhere. Though I believe “whenever you are afraid of something round the corner never runaway from it, always face it with your brave heart”. Something was hurting me deep inside. I actually wasn’t able to figure-out exactly the thing which was distracting my thoughts. I decided to go home the only place which isolates me from regular baseless fears & soul interrupting thoughts to an extent.

I was honestly planning from last week of last month and coz of my interviews it was delayed till 29th April. Finally after attending an interview I have decided to go home what so ever is gonna happen and booked my ticket.

To be honest till now I haven't been excited about my B’day & never felt my B’day is something special. It’s been just an ordinary day in calendar like every other day. Especially from past three years I have spent my B’days alone. As it lies on public holiday half of Bangalore will be empty and half of PG too-a special holiday for me/everyone in the name of my B’day ;) How I wish I must be some great celebrity. I used to watch a movie which was taken in a single shot, no rehearsal at all. Movie of my own life, incidents, characters, circumstances and end results coz everything used to flash before my eyes. I always used to think about what have I achieved last year!!!

No man how can I forget I have shared (I prefer to say sharing instead of celebrating) my B’day in 2007 with Satya- a close friend of mine @ her sister’s place. I think I am catching up with age ;) Hema akka prepared obbattu for me and we went to watch years block buster movie “Mungaru male” that was Gagan’s choice. Gagan- Satya’s nephew I doubt what has moved him so badly to watch that movie for three times as he hardly can understand the storyline of the movie as he was just 4 years old. His fav scene! When the character Devdas (Rabbit) dies in the movie, I think even many others fav as well. Eventually we went to meet Gani in evening. Though I do something constructive or not on that particular day I will definitely meet him at least to give some gaali’s if not to pray.

Fortunately I was at home this time. Me lying in terrace under sky-stars-moon. As time has just hit 0000hrs on 1st May I said “Happy B’day Viddu” of-course the first person to wish me ;) which I have ever done earlier at all. I don't want to merely exist! I want my “Soul to sing, Heart to dance, Spirits to flourish, Thoughts to rejunuvate...that's living. I want to be truly alive” was my B’day wish. No clue I was quite content stepping into another year unlike being a cynic like past years. Morning I woke up by Emu’s (Hema) call @ 0007 hrs. A cousin of mine, I actually can say she is no less than my own siblings. Though much younger to me she easily can read my heart. Whatever I ask for she will execute it, I always can count on her. Fallowed by two more calls from my sweetheart (Siri) and Madhu-a cousin. I got three B’day SMS from friends Vaishali, Soumya and Suvarana.

Naga and Keshi cousins of mine @ home wished me. One of the cutest wish of the day was my little Lalli’s (my niece) “Attha! Aapy Batheday fallowed by paathi” which Naga taught her that is all she can pronounce as she is just 2 year old. She actually meant “Attha! Happy B’day & she need party”. I still didn’t receive any wishes from my Mom was wondering did she forget??? Even if she forgets I will never mind, I know she is so pre-occupied with limitless thoughts. I only realized when she was busy in making sweets for me.

I just was wondering it’s been so long that I was @ home on my B’days. I have not shared my B’day with Mom from past 7 yrs coz Mom moved to village when I was pursuing my 2nd year of Engineering, with Siri for 4 yrs now and with Purshi (my bro) for 8 yrs now coz his extra curricular activities occupied much priority than regular studies that was time Dad pulled him out from college and put him into fields. However I wasn’t able to figure-out when was the last time I was with Dad on my B’day what a sick female I must be!!! Though a single hour doesn’t slip away from my life without having a thought about him. Even this time Dad was out of town for day or so :( But he was at home @ 1030 hrs and bought sweets for me. Maalpuri and Anjoor Burfi! Gulbarga’s special items.

Took shower and after regular ritual of pooja, Mom-Dad blessed me to have Good health, wealth, intellect & peace-which I really need it. Me, Mom, and Lalli went to Maa Kaali’s temple.

A thought waved in my brilliant brain to cook something. Initially mom was slightly worried am I gonna make it or not. I think she was quite sure it’s gonna be a mess and then she will be the one to fix it. I got into the field ‘kitchen field’ with the mission to prepare Kesaribath, Gulab Jamoon, and pakoda/i’s. I have spent most of the day in kitchen coz the only place where I can find mom & I wanted to spend my time with her. Very much unlike to my routine life coz I am the damsel who starts day with comp & ends day with comp.Treated Gani with Kesaribath & me with Gulab Jamoon, and Pakoda/i’s and of-course others as well @ home. Gulab Jamoon was out of this world and Pakoda/i’s were so delicious & crispy. I actually was wondering how it came-out so well which was out of my imagination. Even Kesaribath was quite good I am not bragging, you guys can verify with Gani, Gani plz tell them!!! However I honestly confess Mom helped me to an extent.

All I was missing very badly was Siri. Even she wanted to spend time with me. I couldn’t make it on time coz my interviews kept postponing; she left to her in-laws place the day I left Bangalore, I understand gals will have many more commitments after marriage. However I don’t expect anything from anyone I was missing her gift-one of my fav, she used to present me on my B’days a dress of-course that will be my B’day dress and lump-sum for partying with friends.

End of the day Mom handed me the gift Siri had left for me that was cash prize of Rs.3000/- and she did leave a message saying she did not find time buy a dress. Mom’s gift Rs.1500/- and Purshi’s gift Rs.2000/-.

Once I reached Bangalore, I received calls from Rani,Teena, Satya, Prathima & Ashraf. Rani a close buddy of mine, she was always there for me when I was in great depression. Teena a close friend however I always found sister in her & to whom I am very much attached emotionally. Ashraf college buddy we share a common B'day ;) I learnt that I got 2 mails wishing me on my B’day from Shashi and Gowri-Vijay and 5 scraps in orkut from Manju, Renuka, Lavanya, Saurabh and Rani.

Last but not least belated wishes from my darlings/Roomies/friends cum Jaani Dushmans Poori and Sukanya. I was gifted with kurtha and one of best novel which I was so desperately looking for quite a long time i.e., “Like the flowing river –Thoughts & Reflections” by Paulo coelho.

Thanks to one and all. A heart felt sorry for those who couldn’t reach me as my mobile was not under network coverage area.

Most simple yet most memorable B’day of mine. Apart from all celebrations, wishes & gifts I shared my B’day with my blog which is a just a perfect mirror image of mine :)