Chasing My Life Dreams….Traveled miles away in my thoughts…..

Imagining my future, to carve out my identity in this new world on both a personal and professional level I landed up in Bangalore on 2nd of July 2005. The past three years of my life was going in an insane plan in so many ways.

Being wrapped up in the promise of lofty hopes and aspirations for “tomorrow” and moving around in one of my favorite worlds, streets of koramangala I found myself contemplating my own dreams for the future and recalling the hopes and dreams which have led to the present day.We spend a good deal of our lives in the quest to attain our goals and dreams… our dream job… our dream house… our dream relationship… our dream everything. What we often fail to consider is what it means to attain a dream and what it feels like to actually get there.

“Dream” is an ideal, and sometimes intoxicating, vision of something inherently imperfect in reality. I found that the attainment of a dream either brings unexpected complication to life or signifies the beginning of a new journey. Dreams don’t often live up to our internalized hype, which explains the reasoning behind the notion that the journey is the destination.



As I sat on my terrace at PG on Friday night overlooking at my past, I encountered the type of pause in life were it all starts to hit me. I thought of many of my experiences over the years during many different stages of my life. I recalled the hopes and dreams that have come and gone through each chapter of my life. I thought about the people in my life who have come and gone, some who I will never have the pleasure to speak with again. I thought about experiences from my past which only exist in the time capsule of my mind.

I am chasing for my Life dreams from 1267 days(3 years-6months-18 days), I am tired I just want to take rest. Confer rest to my mind, bestow peace to my soul. I cry a lot all these days, may be because of unpleasant experiences. I just feel I am lost, all alone in the midst of the ocean. I know that Life has ups and downs and that we have to accept that. But its gotten to a point where I am so far in a hole that I can no longer see the light….I don’t know what to do anymore…

I kept chasing, but my thoughts kept racing….
Chasing life’s dreams

Amazing poems by - Sri Chinmoy

Found none…
I was happy,
Solving problems of divine,
I was pacified with shinning eyes,
Grace and mercy!
They promised to me,
And I kept solving the problems of divine.

One day tired I took some rest,
Half of grace was running away,
Promises broke &I stood still,
watching the play.

Next morning I woke,
With problems making their way,
To hold my collar & my bay,
I searched all around,
To find one, but found none,
Who could have heard, what I wanted to say!

Anger & Frustration
Anger's the worst enemy of mine which every now and then forces me towards impulsive actions, which sometimes prove fatal for others and most of the time for me. This word, generally tries to dominate me when someone attacks my ego or my principles, my values. Frustration's something, I come to know about, whenever it tries to attack me, and mostly gets defeated. In maximum of the cases, it attacks me when my actions and values are contradicting each other and both are justified, anyways values win.The thing that both of them share is, both are too powerful and I have to work my best to get over them, before they get over my nerves. And, even after victory they leave me tired, but at the same time leave me much more immune towards them.

Between Nothingness and Eternity
Barren of events,
Rich in pretensions
My earthly life.

Obscurity
My real name.

Wholly unto myself
I exist.

I wrap no soul
In my embrace.

No mentor worthy
Of my calibre
Have I.

I am all alone
Between failure
And frustration.

I am the red thread
Between
Nothingness
And Eternity.

I Have Nothing

I have nothing.

I have nothing to show or tell.

I have no spirituality, no worship.

No meditation, no adoration, nothing.

Only around me are inner pangs and frustration,

Dust, clay and ash.

I am satisfied with the world of matter and desire.

I am compelled to be satisfied with little, very little.

I have nothing.

A Little Hope

A little desire ends not in vain.

A little hope ends not in vain.

Heart's love is not a meaningless,

contemptible thing.

May my life blossom

With a fulfilling beauty

And a fulfilling fragrance-flavour.

Lo, I behold Your Boat.

My new life has dawned.

Mother, when I go away

Mother, when I go away

Being angry with You,

Without telling You,

Will You look for me?

I know I shall tremble in fear

If I look behind and see

That You are running after me

To catch me with Your Heart's

Endless Affection-Compassion-Love.

If you call me,

I know, Mother,

I shall have to surrender to You.

If You smile, Your Smile will compel me

To return to You.

My Hope carries me

Far, very far, into the world of the farthest beyond

My hope carries me and places me

On the sweetest lap of the unknown.

There I behold my Self-form

In the Dance-Delight of the Absolute.

In the Heart of Everyone

O Lord, to see You in the heart of everyone,
I the traveller am alone walking along the road of Eternity.

The flowers that drop before they are blossomed
have become my friends.
I know not what is written on my forehead.
No matter if my life ends like a flower before it is blossomed
or my life ends before I have seen Your Feet,
I know I shall always bow to You.

At the End of the sorrowful night

At the end of the sorrowful night

Truth appears and smilingly says,

"Beloved, fear no more.

"Piercing the veil of smile

Tear appears and says,

"Forget not, I am eternally unconquerable."